That word kept flying around in my head after having dinner with my former husband, Mark and my son, Alex.
Alex had just gotten back from his third-grade campout and I thought it was a good idea to invite Mark to dinner with us so he could hear about the big trip. And I knew Alex would want to share his thoughts with both of us.
Just as we were getting ready to leave, Alex announces “I have something to tell you both while we’re here together.” I leaned forward anxious to hear what he had to say. He continued, “When I’m at Dad’s house, the time goes by fast but when I’m at Mommy’s house, it goes by slow.” Ouch! Mark sat there beaming while I felt the punch to my gut.
Add to this, just before dinner and being with the parents of the kids from Alex’s third-grade class and feeling less than there as well.
So I ended the day with that overwhelming sense of feeling inadequate. The ole “I’m not good enough mindset.”
Luckily at bedtime Alex and I had our time of reconnecting with each other and continued his dreaming of what he wanted in life discussions. He and I were back on track.
Now for me to again come to terms with the fact I am allowing Mark to make me feel less than, not good enough. I know it’s my choice and one that takes conscious effort to let go of. I also realize some days letting go of that feeling is easier said than done.