Sometimes You Have to Let Go to Allow Something Better In

I am again laying here in bed thinking…this time about this couple who are parents of a boy from my son, Alex’ class. We have known one another for the last 4 years when our boys started preschool together.

I had once considered them among my closest friends and now since the separation and divorce when I see them all I get is a very negative feeling. I had so many tears shed over the loss of this friendship, I could have filled oceans. I had many therapy sessions on the roller coaster of emotions I went through. I had many sleepless nights over it. The Mom  had been the second Mom I told about being gay and the divorce. After which we went on to have an incredible 5 hour heart to heart conversation over dinner and wine. Then a few months later after moving out of the house with my husband, slowly things started to change between her and I. After awhile she barely spoke to me. I had asked her to get together to talk about the issues. Both of those times I never felt she was completely honest and upfront with me about what was really going on. Each time I was more and more shocked, confused and plain ole hurt.

But all of that eventually led me to the peace I now have over it. I now fully understand I cannot control other’s reactions. I cannot control their feelings. I cannot control what they think of me. All I can do is continue to be the best me I can be. I tried to make that relationship into something apparently it wasn’t and I needed to let it go. Once I did, I made room for even more incredible friends. True friends that love me just the way I am. For exactly who I was and who I still am. That couple doesn’t know it yet but I thank them for that very hard lesson of letting go. I continue to be amazed and awed by what and who is showing up in my life as a result.


This entry was posted in Awakening, Be Open, Be Yourself, Change, Cry, Finding Yourself, Friends, Gay, Happy, Lesbian, Letting Go, LGBT, Life, Love, peace, Rejection, Sadness, Self Discovery and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Sometimes You Have to Let Go to Allow Something Better In

  1. The Little Butch That Could (TLBTC) says:

    I find it ironic that we truly learn who our loved ones are, friends and/or family, in times of upheaval. The ones who care shine, the others seem to fade away. Peace.


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