I had two major life aha’s today during my craniosacral therapy session (CST). My therapist and I were working once again on my problem left shoulder and my neck. We covered a lot of ground but there were two very big lessons I got out of it. Here is the first of the two…
I started talking about the lesson I recently learned from Eckhart Tolle’s book, “A New Earth – Discovering Your Life’s Purpose”. One of the things that hit home from that book was if you have a burning desire to help and that is your driving force, that means that there needs to be someone that is in need of help. WOW! I didn’t want to put that energy out there so I have since rephrased my own desire and that is to create and recognize more good in the world.
I then went on to talk of the issues of this last week with my former husband, Mark. First, I talked of my realization I wrote about in a previous post here, “As long as you stay in this box, it’ll be ok“. I was reviewing the issue of the teddy bear cookies, and was also reminded of two other similar incidents with my son in which Mark clearly did not approve. One was Alex requesting his hair be spiked into a mohawk for his soccer game just last week and the other was Alex wanting to have his fingers done with nail polish when he was 4. Both of which I had happily obliged. Unfortunately the polish incident resulted in a rage from Mark demanding I remove it. I did end up removing it while Alex and I bawled our eyes out. I realized even at the time his rage was coming from his fear of Alex being made fun of by the other kids. What I tried to explain was that many of the other kids in his class (including boys) were doing it. It didn’t matter, it was then obvious to me this was deep seated fear of Mark’s and I knew not to challenge him on this one.
In the session I’m reliving all these incidents and saying how I was able to leave but poor Alex had to stay and figure out his way. I would try to help as best I could as Mom. The therapist asked me what if Alex didn’t need help? What if Alex needed to learn his own way to deal with people like Mark? What if all I had to do was just be the Mom who supported Alex the best way I knew how…allow him to be Alex? Wow! Talk about turning that on it’s head!