6/16/12 Now that she had said the words I had longed to hear, how did I feel? Here I was on the airplane with my 5-year-old and the woman whom I would’ve done anything for tells me she loves me. (See previous post) My initial reaction was quite frankly a snicker and a shake of my head. Yes, a snicker. I was snickering at the fact she said it and then literally the doors closed (to the plane, that is) and I couldn’t respond. I snickered at what the universe was doing to me. I snickered at the irony of the whole situation. I snickered because it was like something out of a movie. I just snickered.
After I got over the whole snicker thing. Then my head was going in a thousand different directions. I read and reread what she wrote, “I love you…and everything you brought to my life”. I read it again and again. What did it mean? Did she mean love as in a friend? Did she mean love like I had wanted 16 years ago? If I thought she was driving me crazy before, this surely had the potential to put me over the edge.
Our flight was only an hour so I was hopeful that when we landed I could ask her to further expand and clarify. But the universe would have no such thing! We landed, she was no longer online and it was time for family time. My Mom and Dad were waiting just outside security. It was so great to see them and Alex was beyond excited. Once again I put all those thoughts away and put on my happy face.