During our coaching session we discussed me being stuck in my head and in my scenario someone always gets hurt and I’m the cause of it. That is a huge responsibility. It comes to a choice. How are you going to live your life? I need to live from my heart, be authentic. This is good that I’m aware I’m in my head. Awareness will get you out of it. My mind is like a box and inside is all that I know. It’s the only information I have. It doesn’t matter that you don’t know. I need to look into my heart for authenticity.
I am so concerned with wanting everyone around me to be ok. We discussed my fear and it came down to the fear of being alone. His words: Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. If I come from fear, then fear is all I will project. I want to come from love. If I expand that love, I will go from limited to unconditional love.
We explored when I could remember feeling that I unconditionally loved something. I thought about it for a bit and softball popped into my head. I liked meeting new people, I loved to play, I loved sharing a common love for softball and the whole experience of it. He told me to remember that feeling as that is what we are looking for.
When I have the conversation, my husband has the freedom to do what he wants. I need to be sure to come from love. I need to notice when I’m in my head, get out and get into my heart. Use fear like a pole jumper to catapult myself. I should take where we’re at and catapult where it knows. The truth wants to come out.
Remember, none of us are ever alone. I can experience it inside the box or outside the box where the universe will support me.
I need to remember to come from being the authentic me. That is where my freedom lies. Freedom to explore. Freedom to be me. I don’t want to come from “this will make this person feel this way”.
He helped me see it was very similar to my business that I had recently sold. My sister and I had entered into the business together eight years ago and I was ready to get out, she wasn’t. It was time for her and I to renegotiate. And now it is time for my husband and I to renegotiate. By avoiding it, I’m hurting both of us. No matter how he responds, I can expand my love for him. I need to remember to also give myself unconditional love. No guilt. Love myself. Let love bubble up.