The Questions Go Round and Round

Questions6/7/12   I’m having a hard time writing my screenplay, “I’m Coming Out. The Truth Hurts”. When it comes time to actually write it down on a piece of paper, I keep doubting whether I’m gay or not. After my visit with my friends in Massachusetts the doubt is exceptionally stronger.

My logical brain wishes there was a way to know for sure. I want to know for sure without screwing everything up. You know, have my cake and eat it too. Of course what would I be screwing up? This “perfect” love life that I have? The questions still go round and round in my head. Am I gay? Is the gay issue the reason the marriage isn’t working? Is it a combination of the gay issue and the issues within our marriage? Can I work on my marriage? Would I truly be happy if I did? Would it be a compromise? Is a compromise so bad? Is it just a midlife crisis that I have to get through? What can I live with?

…and so continues the internal conflict within.

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This entry was posted in Change, coming out, Gay, Husband, Lesbian, LGBT, Meditation and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to The Questions Go Round and Round

  1. Pingback: Inspiring Blogger Award! Aww geesh, you shouldn’t have! | honeyimalesbian

  2. The best thing to do might be to sit with your feelings. Experience them all, no don’t judge them and let them pass over you. Notice when you feel more free and when you feel the self-talk creeping back up again. Your inner voice knows.

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