5/30/12 My eyes are foggy today. My meditation felt too grounded; I just wanted to fly. I felt stuck and it was a very negative stuck. Something was forcing me down. I can’t keep my mind off Mary. I need it to stop. It’s not right but I feel like more answers await. I want so bad to know her side and for her to be open with me. I crave it. Was I crazy to love her? What was it? Why is there this hold? It’s so powerful. I’ve let go of others, why not her? She was my biggest rejection. Wow that just came out of me onto the paper without me really realizing it until after I had actually written the words. Oof that hurts yet somehow it feels good to have the realization and “get it out”.
Enter lefty to give me some answers: I need to let it go. It’s the past. You can’t go back. Neither of us are the same. There are answers, yes, but it’s the past. Stop running from the present. You have work to do and stop putting it off. The universe will provide all that you need in this moment and each future one. Finish your screenplay and move on. Get your head out of the clouds. Let’s do this. Bigger and better. Beyond your wildest dreams and more than love, passion and letting go and being you. THINK BIGGER!