Shout It Out – You’re Gay!

5/25/12  I’ve been trying to get clarity. Craving it. My emotions and thoughts are all across the board. Do I really want to give up my whole life for a “what if”? I’ve put so much weight on this thing with Mary. Can’t I let it go? She’s not the one for me. Or is she? Why is it permeating my every thought? Why now? What’s going on with me? Can’t I just enjoy this beautiful life and be thankful? Why is it tugging at me? I feel like I’m a stalker.

I’m going to send her the letter (See Previous Post). Part of me would love for her to be honest but do I believe I needed to be honest with me first? Still a huge connection between us. Is it one way? What if it’s not? Then what?

Here comes lefty to chime in: Get out of your head and into your heart. It’s all there if you’d LISTEN. Have I ever truly listened? Sure you have. I’m here waiting to be heard. Shout it out then. YOU’RE GAY! Love it. Own it. Be it. Get over it. You are who you are. Everyone loves you and think how many more you’ll meet that will too. They’re all teed up when you’re ready. Just holler. I’ll be waiting. I’m not going anywhere. Life is good but there’s a better one waiting. Enjoy life this is no dress rehearsal. Be silly. Be you. We all love you. LOTS! kiss kiss hug hug.

After this I asked the medicine cards what this life was about. Picked the empty shield. Rephrased to what lesson am I supposed to learn? I then pulled the Swan card – “the power of woman, touching future. Pay attention to hunches, intuition, gut. Accept your ability to know what lies ahead. Don’t resist self-transformation, relax; it will be easier if you go WITH the flow. Honor your female intuitive side.”

I always loved this episode of Ellen and that about summarizes it for me too:

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This entry was posted in Awakening, Be Open, Change, coming out, Gay, Husband, Lesbian, LGBT, Love, Meditation, Speaking the Truth and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Shout It Out – You’re Gay!

  1. Ellen’s coming out was the thing that pushed me to do so back in 1997. In fact, my mom shouted “She’s like Ellen!” through her tears when I told her 😉

    I hope you are able to shout you are out now 🙂

  2. Have you seen this documentary yet … http://www.inlawsandoutlawsfilm.com/? I love it! Talks about relationships and marriage from all perspectives, including gay couples. I was thinking of a particular couple where one of the women was working her way towards accepting her sexuality while still in a heterosexual marriage. If I remember correctly, they touch on her process of coming out and moving away from that marriage to the one where she was really meant to be. Didn’t know if you might find it interesting or helpful in any way.

  3. alexkellyoc says:

    Mary doesn’t know what she’s missing-that’s what I think.

  4. Love that episode! I’m anticipating Mary’s response!

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