Time to Let it Flow – Stream of Consciousness 5/18/12

I’ve been having an internal dialog within about being good enough. Loving myself beyond belief. It’s all ok. This is the universe. Ebb and flow and a time for me to flow. All is ok. I’ll be right here to support and won’t leave. Just let go.

A discussion I had with my healer keeps coming up. I had told her the whole story, of my attraction to women and the fact Mary had contacted me. She kept telling me it was important to keep my family together. This can be worked through and every woman has feelings for other women. But you don’t do anything about them. Is it time to move on?

I saw a boy in tennis shoes floating during energizing my solar plexus. I started with tears of appreciation of my sister, Ann. She’s so supportive and I wish my other two sisters knew it. Of course my sister, Pam knows it. I’m so fortunate to have my sister, Ann in my life.

I’m trying to be patient with my self about what to do for money. It just feels so big and I need time to let it develop. Patience. Don’t rush into anything. All is good and you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

Feeling the need to bring lefty in now. Don’t have a question for today. Just be and relax. All in due time. I’ll call you when I’m ready. Woman from my son’s school popped in. She needs something you have. Talk with her. Time for some service to others. It will help your aching heart. Trust me. Breathe Thomas. Now that brings Mary to mind since that is what she used to call me (my last name). It wasn’t in a big way that she popped in, just a passing thought. No attachment to it. Hmmmm. Bigger than you can imagine. Beyond your wildest dreams!

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7 Responses to Time to Let it Flow – Stream of Consciousness 5/18/12

  1. survingmylife says:

    You mention your healer said something about keeping your family together, that it can be worked through and all womem have feelings for other women but you don’t have to do anything about those feelings. I’m not sure if she is enojraging you to ‘stiffle’ your feelings or what her intent is in speaking those words to you. Be careful with yourself…….

  2. When your healer said that all women have feelings for other women and that you don’t act on them, do you feel like she meant that you are supposed to supress your true sexuality, if it turns out that you are attracted to women? Interesting thing to tell someone, unless she just meant that you need to take this slowly and think through your forward motions versus leaping before you look. Especially since you have a husband and child to consider in the mix. When I was coming to terms with this part of myself, I too had tidbits of things like that from people around me. They had my best interest at heart, so I listened. I came through those months knowing I was 100% gay, but those questions and suggestions from others challenged me to go deeper and be sure before I made decisions about my future. These were all straight friends too, so I knew they had that perspective and were striving to understand mine. It was a very interesting time, to say the least. If you can listen with an open heart and still be true to who you are, then it’s all good.

    • See my above reply with my long winded response. But I did want to acknowledge your post as well. I do believe these sort of questions, suggestions do challenge me to go deeper. I am thankful for it. Thank you again for your comments.

  3. I think the two commenters before me said it very well, although I would have to add that I question how appropriate it is for a “healer” to be sharing her personal opinion as to what you decide to do. This is your journey and you know what is at stake. And I speak from very personal experience when I say that “keeping the family together” is not always the best way to go. I think you are approaching this whole journey in a very healthy manner and I applaud your ability to hear your “healer” as long as you don’t stop listening to you…..which it seems you are not about to do!! I’ll be here reading and routing for you. Peace and safe travels….

    • In response to Strolling, Fireflies and Surviving, my healer’s comments obviously hit a chord with you as much as they did with me. First I will apologize up front for a lengthy response. But with your comments, you’ve made me go back to that day and remember the context of the conversation. First of all, she is a religious person and we usually don’t talk much, she just heals. But this particular day was back in April of this year just days after Mary had contacted me. She asked such a simple thing, “How was I?” and naturally I broke down sobbing, telling her eveything that was going on, questioning my sexuality, Mary, the past, my husband, etc. It was such a strange thing for her to respond with needing to keep the family together. It gave me a bit of a jolt and surprised me that she would say such a thing. I did then and I do now pass it off to her religious background. But one thing is for certain I AM in a healthier place. I am open to all comments, suggestions, ideas, etc. But I am in a place where I can take them in, consider them and choose to discard them or not. I believe each of us means well when we offer suggestions, ideas, opinion but those are from the perspective of someone elses point of view. They have walked a different walk, lived a different life. You know when something resonates with you. I choose to pay attention to those. I’ll get off my soap box now. But I do want to thank you each tremendously for your comments. I welcome them all! Much love and happy thoughts.

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