From Crazy to the Most Magical Place on Earth

4/28/12  The day was finally here that we had waited for! My husband, son and I were heading to Disney World for a magical vacation. The problem was only half of me was there. The other half was thinking about Mary and if she had any answers for me.

Earlier in the week during one of our Facebook chats it came up that we were heading to Disney World. Mary said we would only be 30 minutes from her home and asked if she could meet my son. My immediate thought was why didn’t she want to see ME?! I then hesitated with how to say no but I was working on being honest and told her it wasn’t a good idea with all that was going on with me. I knew I couldn’t handle seeing her. If I thought I was crazy before, that would have sent me over the edge!

We landed at Orlando airport and I was immediately transported back to 16 years ago. I looked for the line of pay phones. They were no longer there (cell phones had taken care of that). It was there at that line of pay phones that I called my sister’s partner, crying and telling her of the night with Mary. I poured my heart and soul out to her. I even read her the letter that I had written to Mary. I felt so hurt and alone. We cried together while she tried to console me and wished she could give me the hug I desparately needed in that moment.

Then I was jolted back to reality as my son buzzed through the airport in excitement with his Lightening McQueen roller bag and my husband was asking for help in trying to figure out where we were going. So once again I put all that hurt, love and “stuff” back where I had put it 16 years ago and put on my happy face. Afterall we were in the most magical place on earth, weren’t we?!

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This entry was posted in Awakening, Crazy, Friends, Lesbian, Life, Mom and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to From Crazy to the Most Magical Place on Earth

  1. Dace says:

    as long as you are honest with yourself and follow your heart, you will be fine.

    • Again, that’s what I’m working on and it’s feeling more and more freeing. It is part of the reason I waited until now to write about what was happening back in April. I’m finally able to be that honest with myself…and be ok with it. Again, thank you for your kind words.

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